I just don’t have the energy

I’ve had a strange few of days. Being in a new relationship is definitely making me re-think who I truly am. I’m thinking so much, I am tired all time. It’s strange! I don’t mind at all because I am learning more about myself, and my place in this world, than I ever have before. I put it down to age, maturity and education, but my partner says it’s because of how we feel about each other.

To better understand myself and make sense of things, I have started writing notes on my phone when a situation occurs. Here a few from last week …..

I sit waiting for you to to get test hoping you don’t wear something that will bring attention to us. I just want to hide most of the time.

I’ve never felt the need to be needed or loved before now. 

Every day I hope Read the rest

How not to begin your day!!

I woke with a cloud above me head this morning. For many reasons I spend a lot of time thinking and dreaming about my relationship. Because it’s new, I have been on my own for over five years and I generally find it quite difficult to add other emotional situations to my illness. So I spend time trying to work out what’s right and wrong.

I have been blessed with meeting the most incredibly beautiful, genuine, loving and supportive woman. I want to get this right for us. I don’t want my depression to take over and ruin another great situation in my life.

Anyway, my point from the title of the post is; At the beginning of the day, amount of time I think about not getting the day wrong means I am spending less valuable time actually working on getting my day right. So much so, that my … Read the rest