The monkeys go mad after leaving university

Where to start with this . . . . what a hell of a few months.

There have been so many huge changes in my life recently and it’s kickstarted the depression I thought I had licked.

I’d been managing the monkeys in my head all the way through my course by seeing a lovely councillor who was in residence at our institute. Just being able to talk to someone who wasn’t emotionally involved in my life was a great relief. I could be affected by daily events and not worry, because I knew I could chat about it that week. It wasn’t a continual situation, and wasn’t that regular, but to know that support was there was a great help.

So with this help, my monkeys were calm and when they were raucous and disrupting, I could reach out and talk to someone who had the correct bananas to … Read the rest

The guilt of letting people down

I wanted to write this blog post because it’s something that has been part of my depression for as long as I can remember. I have always carried the guilt of letting people down. Whether is be friends, family, work colleagues or partners.

It begins with me not getting involved in social situations because I don’t know whether my depression is going to a major factor on event day. I can almost guarantee that it’s going to play a part in whether I get to the event, whether I get up for work or make the family event.

The guilt of letting people down was the main reason I was single for over five years. From 2012 to 2017. If you are in a relationship there is an expectation to be social, to get involved in your partners friends circle and to be seen to be strong enough to be … Read the rest

Hello doodle peeps

111Welcome to my very new blog, Monkeys In My Head. This is a place where I will talking about my daily dealings with manic depression. I’m not sure where this will go and what will come of it.

I am not even sure if anyone will read it but I am hoping it will help me with my illness and, even maybe, help someone else in the same situation.… Read the rest

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